Challenged to Post, "Without Comment"

[It's been a minute since I wrote something here, but I thought I'd put this out there so I could easily reference it later should it become needed.]

Someone has challenged you over the next X days to post on some media platform pictures of:

 - Your favorite albums of all time.

 - The movies that were most influential on you.

 - The books could you read over and over.

 - The [some way of pretending to get random things] photo(s) on your phone. [1]

 - The food you blah blah blah . . . 

 - The place(s) you would yadda yadda yadda . . .

 - etc, etc, etc.

Let's be clear, I'm not opposed to these sorts of things.  I most likely am interested in what you might have to share.  After all, the reason we are ostensibly friends on whatever social media platform this is occurring on is because we both chose to be.  Thus, I probably care some amount about you and am interested at least on some level about who you are, what you care about, and other parts of you life.

But here's the supposed kicker, you have to post them, "without comment".  

Though I'm probably reading more dramatic emphasis into it than is really there, I always imagine it more like:

"I was challenged to post this, WITHOUT COMMENT!"  [Dum, dum, dummmmmmm!] [2]

But the question is, why?

Why wouldn't you comment?  What point is there to the whole thing if you don't comment?

Oh, here's some photo that seems important . . .

 . . .but I've no idea why.

Hey look, they like a movie that 90% of people like . . . 

 . . .  what a non-surprise.

They've read that famous book . . . 

. . . that millions of other people have read too.  

Complete non-shocker, and honestly, I don't care.

Of course if you were to comment then suddenly I do care.  Because now I know that the reason you picked that photo was because of [something meaningful and/or interesting].

Or maybe it wasn't.  Maybe you just like the way you look in that photo.  Or you just want to show the world your cute kid(s).

Maybe you just like that movie because of that one fight scene.  Or that one line.  Or because of that hot actor/actress is in it.  

And I suspect that's one of the real reasons people are so pleased to post "without comment".  Because they have nothing to say beyond, "I liked this."  Because their 10 things are completely banal and in truth uninteresting. 

A second reason is probably that after posting and commenting on 1 picture of their kid/dog/self/whatever that fulfills the requirement of this supposed challenge, they would really have nothing left to say on days 2 through 10.

A third reason, and most likely to most applicable is that people are lazy.

So, before I wrap this up.  Let me actually challenge you.

The next time someone "challenges" you to post pictures of whatever "without comment", I challenge you to completely ignore the lets 'o', 'u' and 't' in the word "without" and to post them WITH comments.

Because let's be honest.  One of the main reasons you accepted this "challenge" is that you were hoping people will think the things you picked are cool/interesting/say something about you, and/or that you want people to talk with you about it.  

There's nothing wrong with that, so skip the hoping someone will take the lame bait of a pic with no comments and start the conversation yourself.  

I for one will be way more likely to: 

 - pay attention

 - think about what you've posted for more than half a second

 - post a comment

And if the person who challenged you complains about your changing the rules, just reply to them with a link to this post.

Challenged to Post "Without Comment": D-

[1] - This is "Pretending to be random" because: A) if the randomly selected picture isn't something you want others to see; or B) isn't cool enough; or C) you really want to pick some other picture, we all know your just going to pick whatever you want.

[2] - That's a bad attempt at dramatic sounding music.

Mini-Golf @ Pigeon Forge

Mini Golf (a.k.a. - Putt Putt) @ Pigeon Forge[1]: As state in a previous post, the Pook and I recently spent a few days in Pigeon Forge.  We picked that spot for three main reasons.  One of which was that they have a lot of mini-golf courses and the Pook had a hankering.[2]  So here are the definitive grades for the courses that we visited.[3]

Ripley's Old MacDonald's Farm Mini-Golf: Sticking with two of the Pigeon Forge traditions, this course is country themed and owned by Ripley's. In Pigeon Forge, if you aren't interested in looking at people shove nails up their noses, Ripley's is more than willing to take your money in a variety of other venues.  Including an aquarium, a world's record museum and at least six other attractions including one that's a 4D theater.[4]  


We visited this course first, mainly because there was a retarded amount of traffic and we were right beside it.  None of it's three courses were really difficult at all and they were very "luck" related.  A slope filled with gophers that make your ball pachinko down the hill is a good example.  Thus good and bad players alike won't have any trouble getting the ball near the hole. So it's fun to watch but doesn't require much skill. Lot's of large animal figures talk to you throughout in bad accents and make awful puns.  There's also a repetitive country instrumental song that plays constantly that will haunt your dreams for the next three days. (Cow Course: B: 40 P: 46,  Chicken Course: B: 34 P: 39, Pig Course: B: 40, P: 43)


Hazzard County Country Club: This course was located at Cooter's Place in Gatlinburg.  Cooter also has a museum, store and go-carts.[5]  We initially passed this by, but ended up rushing back when the sky opened up and started trying to drown us.  The course is indoors on the second floor of a building that clearly used to be house.  Thus the different holes wind down the hallways and in the rooms, which is sort of strange.  There's Dukes of Hazzard memorabilia on the walls throughout.  In the end we were glad we visited this course because it turned out to be one of the best.  There was no random junk on the holes but there were plenty of slopes and bumpers which meant you had to be skillful and not just lucky.  (B: 47, P: 52)


Hillbilly Golf: Originally I had no interest in playing this course that's located in Gatlinburg, but when the Pook read that you had to take a ride in an incline up the side of the mountain and then the holes wandered back down the mountains side, I was very interested.  When we were walking by and saw that one hole of golf cost $13 my interested evaporated.  You can save money by walking 50 yards back up the road to Cooter's.

Professor Hakkers Lost Treasure Golf: Two different courses are offered here.  You can take a mine train up to the first hole of both or you can walk up the stairs.  If you're into short train rides in a tiny mine car take the train.  If you want to beat everyone else to the first hole, take the stairs.  Lot's of decorations and such to look at, but most of the holes are just big putting greens without any obstacles, slopes or bumpers.  So kinda lame.  Of course the greens are large and the holes so far from the edges that you end up taking a lot of strokes.  (Gold Course: B: 55 P: 63, Diamond Course: B: 52 P: 55)

Adventure Golf: Two different courses that are a bit run down but don't let that put you off.  They were my favorite of all the ones we visited.  Very challenging with slopes, bumpers and obstacles placed in a way that required you to have skill and not just luck.  Also a lot of giant monsters and buildings give it good ambiance.  I highly recommend this one.  (Course 1: B: 43, P: 48,  Course 2: B: 46, P: 47)

Walden's Landing Firehouse Golf: The last place we visited.  Random animals and firehouse equipment decorate the two courses.  Unfortunately a lot of the time the right call was to completely avoid those and hit around them.  For instance on one hole you can send you ball through a loop-the-loop or you can putt beside it and get right to the hole.  The two best parts of this course were the following.

On one hole there is a ladder lying across the end of a ramp that requires you putt between the rungs to get your ball to the lower green.  The Pook upon seeing this said, "You know I'm totally going to hit the rung don't you?"  She then putted and hit directly on the ladder rung causing the ball to roll all of the way back to the start.  Then she did it again.  Laughter ensued.

As the scores I've listed at the end of each courses review reveal, I had won every round of golf we played up until this point.  On the phone with my mom[6] she said I should be a good husband and let the Pook win one[7].  Having dominated her on the first course and knowing that this was the last mini-golf we would be playing, the second course was the last chance she would have to win.  The round started with me choking on the first hole and taking six strokes to her three.  Rapidly the Pook increased her lead to six strokes by the sixth hole.  So, while I don't usually play to lose, I was happy that it looked like she would actually win a round.  Fast forward to the eighteenth hole and the score is tied.  Like a lot of courses the last hole was a goofy thing that you were supposed to do in one stroke.  You putted down a slope to five openings in the side of a box.  Getting the ball into the center opening counted as one stroke.  The openings on either side of that were two strokes and the outer two openings were three strokes.  The Pook went first and the ball rolled straight down the slope and struck the divider on the left side of the one stroke hole and didn't go into any hole.  So she walked up and putted it into the one stroke hole (thus counting as two strokes).  I lined up and prepared to putt.  If I made it into the one hole I would win.  The two hole would mean a tie and the three hole would mean the Pook finally won one.  I hit the ball and it hit a microscopic bump on the lip at the start of the slope.  The ball shot up into the air and flew to the left[8].  From there it landed on the edge of rail on the left edge of the entire green and shot straight into the one stroke hole. Sorry Pook, some things are just not meant to be. (Red Course: B: 42, P: 51, Yellow Course: B: 45, P: 46).

Ripley's Old MacDonald's Farm Mini-Golf: B-
Hazzard County Country Club: A
Professor Hakkers Lost Treasure Golf: B+
Adventure Golf: A+
Walden's Landing Firehouse Golf: B

[1] Actually some of these are located in Gatlinburg and not Pigeon Forge, but the two are essentially the same place anyway.
[2]The other two reasons are that it is an inexpensive vacation and that it was in a different state than our children.
[3] These courses represent only a fraction of the choices available.  I don't think anyone actually loves mini-golf enough to actually play all of the courses in the area.
[4] Which makes it one D short of the 5D theater we saw in Gatlinburg.
[5] The entire place was a homage to everything Dukes of Hazzard.  Including a TV that constantly runs episodes of the show.  Having not seen one since I was a young lad let me tell you this.  Man are those bad.
[6] No I don't call my mom every day while on vacation.  Unless she's watching my kids, then I totally do.
[7] Yeah right.
[8] At which point I thought to myself, "Oh well.  I've lost this one."

Pigeon Forge

[I don't think I've ever been seriously called classist or elitist before, if I'm not careful this post will change that.]

Pigeon Forge: The Pook and I needed a vacation.  Having just acquired the Bean only two months ago[1] and thus also having acquired all of the medical bills and debt that go along with a newborn, we could only afford something cheap.  We didn't really care where it was as location was less important than having a few days of peace and quiet and a few nights of uninterrupted sleep.  Thus, with a little research we decided to go to Pigeon Forge.

My previous experience with Pigeon Forge was when I was much younger[2] and I remember it essentially being a long street of alternating: mini-golf, go-cart tracks, restaurants and water parks.  The Pook's previous experience was as a young adult, driving there, taking one look at the place, and not stopping.

The Pook and I both love to play us some putt-putt and Pigeon Forge is evidently the third best mini-golf city in the country[3].  Thus we decided to give it a chance and gird ourselves for the worst. In other words, our expectations were low.


We didn't put them low enough.  


Don't get me wrong, we had a good time.  We ate at nice restaurants.  We played a LOT of mini-golf[4].  We wandered around a few shops.  And we tried very hard to ignore everything else that was going on around us.


What can I say about a place in which culture has advanced[5] to a stage in which the best the town has to offer is your choice of dinner theater at either "The Hatfields vs the McCoys" or "Lumberjack Feud"?  (Perhaps I'm not being fair by leaving out the Dixie Stampede.)  


If comedy is more to your liking you can go to the Comedy Barn, or the Smith Family Theater.  Judging from the posters that I saw, the comedic heights are achieved at both locations by having dogs that jump through hoops and an old man that dresses up like a woman.[6]  Of course the Comedy Barn's poster did assure me that they were the "funniest show in town" [7].


You can also visit any number of entertainment venues owned by the Ripley's organization or by Dollie Pardon (or possibly both).  And while there weren't nearly so many water parks as I remember from my youth, you can still find plenty of mini-golf and go-cart tracks.


Perhaps you are more into shopping?  Well you are in luck, I saw no less than six different "As Seen on TV" superstores.  Six of them!  Each one as big as a large grocery store.  And presumably they are all doing a fair amount of trade.  You can also find a plethora of "antique" stores.  One of which proclaimed in large letters: New Hope Antiques . . . for a better life.  I'm not sure if they were saying there was a better life for the antiques or for you.

In truth you'd be hard pressed to find a store that wasn't just selling your choice of junk or crap.

Also you are definitely in luck if you are in the market for: Fudge, T-shirts, Fudge, Fireworks, Fudge, Cheap Souvenirs, Fudge, Tacky Blankets, Fudge, Tattoos, Fudge, Body Piercings, Fudge or Fudge[8]  Many of the billboards (and there are a lot of them) advertise whatever it is the store is primarily selling and then in large letters in a blue star on the bottom corner it also says, "Fudge!"  As if someone driving down the road and seeing a billboard for fireworks, but unmoved to visit the establishment, suddenly spies the lower right corner and says, "Fudge!  Well in that case maybe I do need some fireworks.  It's not like you can get fudge just any place in this town."

If you venture a little bit south you can get to Gatlinburg.  Gatlinburg is a touch classier than Pigeon Forge, but that's a bit like saying Boss Hogg is smarter than Roscoe [9].  My favorite place there was a "Shoot 'em Up Theater that claimed to be in "5D".  I tried as hard as I could, without actually paying money, to find out what the fourth and fifth D were, but to no avail.

In between Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, cringing up into the sky trying to remain unsullied, is part of the Smokey Mountain National Park.  It is exceedingly beautiful and generally untouched by man [10].

The people were all very friendly. I'm not one to indiscriminately mock people, so I'll just leave you with this anecdote.  After purchasing a round of mini-golf the lady behind the counter saw that the bank on my debit card had the word Georgia in its title.  She smiled at us and said, "Ye from Georgie?" [11]

Having said all of that, it was a very cheap vacation.  We did eat at some very nice restaurants[12].  If you are in to mini-golf you have plenty to choose from and overall we had a fine time.

Pigeon Forge Overall: C+
Pigeon Forge with Blinders On: B+
Pigeon Forge if you really like Fudge: A+

1 - It already seems like he's always been around.
2 - Somewhere in the middle of my teens, I believe.
3 - Myrtle Beach is #1 and some city in Missouri was #2.
4 - Expect another post soon with an in depth review of the courses we visited.
5 - I use that term very loosely
6 - Jonathan Winters would be proud.
7 - Of course, see this post to see what that means.
8 - You can also get Fudge there.
9 - While were on the topic of the Dukes of Hazard, don't forget to visit the Cooter Museum, Mini-golf, Go-Cart and Souvenir Store while you're in Gatlinburg.
10 - With the exception of the four lanes of blacktop running through it, that is.
11 - Just to be clear, that isn't a typo, to pronounce this gem properly the first and last word should both rhyme with 'me'.
12 - I'll have a separate post on those as well.

Pay at the Pump

Pay at the Pump: When pay at the pump first started I was ecstatic.*  I no longer have to walk into the building to pay?  How can this be?  No more standing in a line with several other depressed looking people, none of which want to be there?  No more, prepaying for $10 of gas only to have the pump turn off at $8, requiring you to go back inside and stand in the line of sadness to try and explain it to the attendant for whom English was supposed to be a third language?  How can this be?  Suddenly what was guaranteed to take ten minutes or more, took only three or so.  For those of you afraid of math, that's an improvement of about 70%.  Improvements in efficiency such as that come around very seldom.**  Surely this Utopian dream couldn't be true!  Well, it was true, but it didn't last.  When pay at the pump started, it was a simple and quick 4 step process.  You pulled up.  You slid your credit card into the machine.  You pumped your gas.  You left.***  But this blissfully simple experience has gotten perverted.  Now it is more like a 20 step process.  You pull up.  You select the grade of gas.  You slide your credit card into the machine.  You answer several questions about your life, such as: what's your zip code?  What's your PIN number?  How many dwarves were there in Snow White?  What's the carrying capacity of an African Swallow? Do you want a receipt?  Assuming you answer these correctly you may begin pumping your gas and moving on to the later steps.  I don't want to answer questions.  I don't want to "interact" with anyone or anything.  I just want to fill my tank as quickly as possible and go.  One time on a late night trip back from some other state (possibly Virginia), I pulled up to the dark and lonely pump and got out.  While fishing my debit card out of my wallet, suddenly a voice boomed out from behind me, "Welcome to the East of Nowhere Gas Station."  I promptly wet my pants while it went on to suggest I go inside and purchase a beverage or a doughnut or a small caliber weapon.  What happened to the simple and wonderful pay at the pump experience?  I thought you understood when you invented this thing that I don't want to go inside.  I will gladly suffer the nineteen promotional signs you've now plastered around the pump with enticing pictures of doughnuts and other tasty treats, but please don't talk to me!  At another station I visit once**** they had installed TV's at every pump and they played commercials for you while you were pumping you gas.  What!?  I suspect soon you will need to give blood or take a Spanish test to get the pumps working.  Then they'll introduce a new, quicker and more convenient method of paying.  They'll call it, "Pay at the counter."

Pay at the Pump (when introduced): A+
Pay at the Pump (now): A-

* - Okay, maybe ecstatic is overstating it a bit, but I was happy.
** - Meaning never.
*** - Leaving the unwanted receipt flapping on the side of the pump like a flag.
**** - And only once.

First Game of Catch (almost)

First Game of Catch (almost): Just before Easter, Aldi had little kid baseball gloves on sale for cheap.  So we bought one to put in the boy's basket.  Being three and an American, it seemed past time he had one.  On Easter morning, after we described the point of the large black and brown thing taking up valuable candy space he replied, "I don't want it" and refused to even try it on.  Several weeks and a new baby brother later, I decided it was time to retry introduction of America's past-time.  Earlier in the day, while we were wasting time channel flipping I turned over to a sports channel that was showing a college baseball game.  The Bear was interested enough to watch most of an inning and I was careful to point out how everyone except the batter was wearing baseball gloves.  That evening when he started getting restless, I suggested that we go outside and play with his ball and glove.  I had retrieved my glove from it's storage place* a few days earlier and the ball and his glove were sitting nestled in mine near the back door.  He suggested we include his over sized plastic baseball bat and the batting tee he'd gotten for his birthday.  Having added those items we were off into the back yard.  Once outside, I set up the tee, but having seen real athletes on TV playing without a tee, he was no longer interested in using one either.  He suggested I set it on the patio and he told me I could leave his glove over there too as he didn't want it.  Hoping that watching me using mine would inspire him to don his, I agreed and we got ready to play.  I showed him how to stand and swing the bat and I backed away a few steps to attempt to toss the ball in such a way that contact of some sort could be made.  "You swing the bat and hit the ball and I'll catch the ball in my glove" I told him.  "But Daddy," he replied, "who's going to fall down?"  Befuddled I asked for clarification.  "Somebody always falls down" he told me.  I eventually realized that what he'd taken away most from watching baseball on TV, was that it involved a lot of falling down** and getting really dirty.  So for the next several minutes, I tossed the ball near him.  He swung the bat and never once made contact, but after each swing he would drop the bat, run a few steps in a random direction and gleefully fall onto the ground.  His glove spent the entire time lying on the ground.

First Game of Catch (almost): A+

* - The trunk of my car, naturally.
** - a.k.a. - sliding

Late Night Feedings

Late Night Feedings: Give up large chunks of your sleep for the next several weeks (if not months) to get up and feed your newborn?  To be honest, not something I was looking forward to. Well, if you've never done this before (or perhaps its been a few years and you've forgotten) here are a few different things you can expect to experience.  In the beginning, you never actually get to sleep.  Instead you lie just on the edge of wakefulness waiting for the cries to come through the monitor.*  When they do come and you go to the baby's room you can never be sure what exactly will be waiting for you.  Here are few options:

- A hungry baby, who eats and then goes back to sleep.**
- An upset baby because his hand or foot has come unswaddled
- An upset baby because he is completely swaddled
- A tired baby that is so tired it can't get to sleep.***
- A hungry and tired baby.  One that is so hungry it can't sleep for the hunger pains, but at the same time is so tired it can't stay awake to actually drink its bottle.****
- A completely wide awake baby who is looking for entertainment

This list is obviously incomplete.  But the best part is that the Bean is only five days old and this list is compiled from the things that happened on just the first night home.  Here are a few of the other options I'm really looking forward too:

- Poop Everywhere!
- You stumble into the room to find the baby is asleep.  You stumble back to bed and as soon as your head hits the pillow he starts crying again.
- A hungry baby, only you forgot to make enough bottles to last the night.
- A sick baby
- A baby that won't stop crying for no reason at all!

Lest I have scared off some of you from attempting the joys of parenthood later in life, let me finish with this. After you've finished feeding, changing, reswaddling, whatever the baby and you're sitting there in the dark, half awake, with their little head leaning against your shoulder, while you listen to the soft sound of their breathing, all the rest of it doesn't matter.

Besides, sleep is for losers.

Late Night Feedings: B-

* - Later it gets to the point where you never actually wake up and you zombie stumble around in the dark.  I'm honestly not sure which is worse.
** - Pray for this one
*** - I know, sounds like an impossibility.  It makes even less sense at 2 A.M.
**** - When you get in this situation, just give up

Delivery (and the things that go with it)

Delivery (and the things that go with it): No, we're not talking about when somebody brings food to your house.  This is the other kind of delivery.  Friday night, after all of our friends had come over to hang out, our second son decided to show up two days early.  So, I spent Friday night/Saturday morning at Kennestone Hospital.  The Pook showed that her previous performance as an Olympic Class baby birther was not a fluke and gave a repeat performance of equal (if not better) caliber.  Just like last time, I had ringside seats.  And having watched this twice, I can honestly say that I have no idea how we have survived as a race.  Pook wisely opted for the "Every drug you can give me" plan, so I can't really comment on observable pain levels.  But the pain she had before all of the pharmaceuticals kicked in leaves me with no doubt that there is only one word to describe the people who do it without drugs: "stupid".  I know, people say that they want to experience it the "natural way" or some such hogwash.  Well the next time you go in to the dentist to get a filling, why not get that done the "natural way" as well?*  Yeah, I thought not.  Plenty of people in the past have commented on the actual birth.  Words like watermelon and nostril usually get used.  So, I'll not go into that, other than to say, "Forget about it."  That some people do this multiple times means they are either mentally challenged or superhuman.**  Then there is the stuff that follows the baby.  Literally.  Ewww.  And to think, some people choose to deliver at home!  I don't think that they make Hefty bags for that, but good luck.

The Delivery Process: C-
The People Who Deliver: A+

* - Disclaimer, I stole this from the Pook.
** - My mom and sister both had four kids.  Woofah!

Swiffer Sweeper w/ Wet Mopping Cloths

Swiffer Sweeper 2 in 1 Mop and Broom Floor Cleaner Starter Kit:  One of the best parts about the book Brandwashed was a discussion of how the Swiffer came to be and how mopping in general is just a poorly executed chore.  The gist is that a mop is designed to grab and hold dirt.  Then once you've used it and are ready to rinse it out, you are asking the mop to do the opposite of that, i.e. - let go of the dirt.  Which it just isn't built to do.  Then you take that now dirty mop and continue to spread the dirty mop head over your floor in an attempt to "clean" it.  Thus, the Swiffer is superior in that you take the disposable cloth,  ask it to do what it was designed for (get and collect dirt), and then you throw it away.  I do most of the mopping/sweeping in our house*, so I figured I would give it a try.  Result?  The wet cloths come out of the package really really wet.  Thus the first six square feet or so that you clean end up really really wet (and clean).  The next six square feet or so end up fairly wet (and clean).  After that everything ends up streaked with wet (and not so clean).  However, if you supplement with a spray cleaner (I used Orange-Glo) it does a grand job.  Also not having to spend time futilely trying to clean a mop head means that whole thing took a lot less time.  All of this leads me to conclude two things.  First, the Swiffer people are right, regular mopping is counter-intuitive.  Second, I shouldn't have been so cheap and should have bought the Swiffer Wet Jet to begin with.

Swiffer Sweeper w/ Wet Mopping Cloths: B

* - This is mainly because the Pook is horrid at it, but don't tell her.

Morning

Morning: Uggh.  Hrrrmph.  Urg.  Blah.*

Morning: D+

* - The above will be translated into English at a later date.

Bedtime

Bedtime: What is it about bedtime that causes my son to become a complete idiot?  Normally he is a very good and well behaved boy, but as soon as it is bedtime he turns into someone else.  (Someone else that is a complete pain in the patoot.) Don't get me wrong, I can sympathize.   While it may have a been a few years, I can remember not wanting to go to bed.  Yes, it is dark outside.  Yes, we have to get up early in the morning.  Yes, going to bed late means a cranky poo-head tomorrow.  But sorry mom and dad, my day isn't done yet.  I still have things to do.  I mean, we haven't even played Candy Land yet!  When I got to high high school it got even worse.  I watched Late Night with David Letterman most nights when I was in high school and this back in the day, so he didn't come on at 11:30.  Late Night started at 12:30 and while I don't really remember the exact time I got up in the morning, I do remember it was early.  Don't ask me how I got the grades I did, because I must have been asleep at the time.  Bed time was an inconvenience, an interruption and an annoyance.  Sure I was tired, but I was busy.  And then somewhere in between my college years and now something changed.  Going to bed still means that my day is over and perhaps even what feels like prematurely, but I don't really mind as much.  The sweet siren song of my pillow calls to me and I'm off to bed.  And usually with little fuss or trouble, I'm asleep in no time.* As I write this, it is 8:10.  If you asked me in high school or college about the possibility of me happily going to bed at 8:10, I would have laughed myself silly.  But as they say, time changes all things.  So, if you'll pardon me, I think I'm going to bed.**

Bedtime: B+

* - Of course nobody beats my wife at going to sleep.  She literally can be asleep before her head hits the pillow.  Here's and actual conversation.  Her: Goodnight.  Me: Goodnight.  Her: ZZZZZZZZZZ.  Announcer: Total elapsed time: 1.2 seconds.  A new Olympic record!!!!!!!!

** - For the record, I'll probably read until 9:30 or so.  Yeah, I know what you're thinking.  Stay up reading until 9:30!  He's a crazy man!

Mowing the Lawn

Mowing the Lawn: When I was a kid, I hated mowing the lawn.  Partly because I had bad allergies when I was younger and mowing the lawn meant spending several hours (if not a day) sneezing and wheezing.  But also because it was a big giant waste of time.  The grass was only going to grow back and you would be back there the next weekend mowing again.  Fortunately, my brothers and father picked up my slack (thanks for that).  When you are young, older folks tell you things like, "when you get your own place you'll like mowing and taking care of the yard."  When they say things like this, they are clearly deranged because this is clearly impossible.  I hate yard work.  Why should purchasing a house suddenly cause me to become stupid and like mowing?  When I first moved out on my own, I rented a house with two friends of mine.  And while renting a house had many perks, it had some negatives.  One of which was we had to mow.  I can't say that I really ever enjoyed it, but I tolerated it.  Then after I got engaged and then got married my wife and I started thinking about buying a house.  We talked about what we would want in a house and we talked about how we both hated yard work and because of this we both wanted a house with a tiny yard.  Well, time passed as it always does and we eventually got a house and somewhere in there my wife betrayed me and joined the other side.  We found the area we wanted to live in and there were lots of houses with tiny yards, but my wife picked out a house that has one of the largest yards in the subdivision.  Instead of a tiny yard, we got a medium large yard.  If that betrayal wasn't enough, then came the ultimate betrayal.  I betrayed myself!  Turns out I like mowing the yard.  It's time I get to spend by myself (with my iPod).  Sometimes I sing along to the tunes, other times I just contemplate whatever's on my mind.  But also it gives you a sense of satisfaction that just doesn't make sense.  I mean this is the same job I was doing before (at my parents house, at the two houses I rented with friends and the house we first rented after getting married), but for some reason it's significantly different.  Go figure.

Mowing the Yard (then): D+
Mowing the Yard (now): B+

3 Year Check Ups

3 Year Check Ups: As I was not the actual person getting their 3 Year Check-up, I can only make my report via what I witnessed, assumptions and guesses.  I know that prior to going to the doctor, the participating toddler's initial responses seemed to indicate this wouldn't be a good time.  He made comments like, "But I don't wanna go to the doctor" and "Daddy, I'm not sick".  However, he was a brave little man when the time came.  And despite being forewarned by his previous visits and by his father's dark revelation that this would probably involve getting a shot, there were no tears.  More like a grim resolution to get it done.  He did not resist in any way as the nurse weighed and measured him (32lbs, 37.25").  He stoically underwent the new experience of having his blood pressure taken and while I didn't actually see or hear it, I have to assume there was a sigh of relief when the nurse told us that his shots were up to date and he wouldn't need one.  The doctor was all smiles and cheer and he actually had a little bit of a conversation with her on his own.  Once she left the room there was but two things left to be done.  First he needed to get his clothes back on.  Second, and more importantly, somebody needed to bring him a lollipop.

3 Year Check Ups: B+

Daylight Savings Time

Daylight Savings Time: I could probably have summed this up in one word, but that would have been a very short post.  So instead I'll ramble on a bit.  Daylight Savings Time [DST] did have a purpose at one point.  Partly it was about trying to save money by minimizing the time the lights are on.  (Sun up = less lights needed = less money spent.) It was also about maximizing daylight in the evening so that sports and other activities had the light they needed.  But at this point, I think society has pretty much moved past that.  Since, regardless of what time it is or how many people are actually up, our cities are now always lit up and are rarely (if ever) asleep.  So, instead now DST is more about totally messing up people's lives twice a year and making you feel crappy for a week after.  (Also providing people with an excuse to miss early Sunday activities. (You always hear about people missing church or whatever because they forgot to set their clocks, but you never hear about people showing up to church an hour early.  I'm just saying.)  Anyway, back to my first statement, DST = meh.

Daylight Savings Time: C