Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sweet Tomatoes and Some of Their Foods

Sweet Tomatoes: Ostensibly* Sweet Tomatoes is a healthier restaurant because they have a giant salad bar full of healthiness.  I don't know about you, but I don't eat there because it's healthy.  I eat there because I can make a tasty salad and then completely cover it in ranch dressing.  Next time you go** take a look around.  Most of the people there are not eating healthy.  They are eating a LOT.  Also, while the salad bar is their signature item, they more than make up for any good eating you do with the rest of the restaurant.  I'm sure they have some really healthy soups, but again I don't go there for healthy, I go there for Shrimp Bisque.  They also have muffins, bread, pasta, fruit, ice cream, etc, etc.  And it's even possible that you could find a nutritionist that would argue that all of these items are healthy.  But you'd be hard pressed to find one that says it's healthy to eat all of them at once in copious quantities.  I'm sure Ellie Krieger*** of the Food Network could go there and make you a completely healthy meal.  But it would be a plate with four lettuce leaves, two bits of broccoli and some carrot slivers that was set down near the bacon bits**** and didn't get anywhere near the salad dressing.  If she looked around and saw what most of the people in there were putting away, she'd faint on the spot.***** My only real complaint with Sweet Tomatoes would be that sometimes their offerings can be a little bland.  I mainly mean the things that they say are going to be spicy.  For instance they have a pasta that they serve from time to time that has the word arrabiata in the description.****** The little sign that tells you what it is, also explains that arrabiata is Italian for angry and it's called that because it's so spicy.  Before you get to excited, when they say spicy they mean that four out of five people from the geriatric set found it to be mildly not bland.  Their spicy chili is the same way.  For whatever reason you might go to Sweet Tomatoes, you can find plenty of yummy things to eat and again if you do put some things on your plate that are only sort of yummy or even really healthy for you, you can always slather them in dressing.  Again, I suggest ranch.

Sweet Tomatoes: A

As and added bonus, here are is a selection of bonus grades for some of the stuff you might find at Sweet Tomatoes.

Shrimp Bisque:  In Greek myths they always talk about the gods drinking ambrosia.  I'm sure at some point someone might have tried to sell you on the idea that this was some sort of fruit or honey beverage.  They were lying.  The gods were drinking Shrimp Bisque.  I have no actual proof of this, but take my word for it.

Raw Broccoli: What the Greek gods definitely weren't eating was raw broccoli.  In fact, why anyone would eat this stuff is beyond me.  It's not that it tastes bad.  It tastes like broccoli.  The problem is that the tops of it are just a bunch of tiny little green pebbles that will become a glob of wet tiny green gravel in your mouth.  Then you can spend the next five minutes trying to was it all away.  Meanwhile seven of the little things are now stuck between your teeth.

Grilled Cheese Focaccia:  Sweet Tomatoes has different types of Focaccia bread all of the time.  Usually I completely avoid them.  Not because they taste bad, but because they don't taste great.  They're just kind of average.  But twice a year or so they have Grilled Cheese Focaccia.  This stuff is amazing.  On those occasions, I literally could go there and eat just this.  I'm not really sure what's on the stuff.  For a guess I would say, two types of cheese, plus some kind of cheeze sauce*******, plus Ritz Cracker crumbles soaked in butter, plus deliciousness.

Shrimp Bisque: A+
Raw Broccoli: D-
Grilled Cheese Focaccia: A+

* - Look at me breaking out the big words from jump.
** - Assuming you do go.  If you don't it's a shame.
*** - She has that show on Food Network about eating healthy that you've never watched.  She makes sad plates of almost food and then smiles ruefully as she pretends to be happy about eating them.
**** - But not too near.
***** - Though a contributing factor would be she hasn't actually eaten anything since Easter.
****** - Clearly I've forgotten the actual title.
******* - That's not a typo, the 'z' is intentional because this stuff probably isn't actually cheese.

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