Monday, April 23, 2012


Birthdays: So today is my birthday.  Birthdays are odd for a number of reasons.  First of all it's basically a celebration of the fact that for yet another year you managed to not die.  Happy Birthday!  We're all stunned that you're still alive!  Secondly, shouldn't this really be a day to celebrate your mother?  I mean if we are celebrating an event, that event is your birth and if you get right down to it, that is something you didn't really have a whole lot to do with.  Trust me, ask you mom.  She'll tell you that all the work and effort that day was done by her.*  You mostly just sat there and made her force you out into the world.  (A process which then continued to a lesser extent for the next 18 years.)  Also birthdays are odd because people ask you retarded questions (especially when you were a kid) like, "So, how's it feel to be X years old."  Like somehow life is a video game and last night while you were sleeping there was a sudden "DING!" and you leveled up or something.  Last time I checked today feels pretty much like it did yesterday.  (Which could be good or bad depending on your situation.)  Also birthdays are odd because of the whole math/calendar/number problem.  What math/calendar/number problem, you say?  Well, how old are you?  Let's pretend you just answered that question with 25 years old.  So, you turn 25 and think, this year is going to be great.  My 25th year.  Only you're wrong.  It's really your 26th year. Your 25th year was last year.  I know, sounds nuts but think for a second.  You were born.  You were effectively zero years old.  That moment of birth began your 1st year on the planet.  Then after you were done with that year you turned 1.  So really your age represents all of the years that are past.  When you turn 1, you are working on your second year.  It's the same math/calendar/number problem that caused most of the planet to celebrate the new millennium on the wrong year. Anyway, I only started mulling on this (again) because I turned 42 today.  42!  An excellent number!**  A few days ago when I thought about turning 42 I said, 'this will be an excellent year because it will be my 42nd year!  But then I thought, no it won't.  Last year was my 42 year.  It was the excellent year.  Oh well.

Birthdays: A+***

* - If you were delivered C-Section then you can add the doctor into the list of hard workers.
** - If you don't know why 42 is an excellent number go read a book (or five).
*** - Despite all of the oddness of birthdays, they are still excellent.  You get presents and cake and every says Happy Birthday to you.  What more could you want?

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