Saturday, August 11, 2012

Bubble Witch Saga

Bubble Witch Saga: I used to play a fair number of games on Facebook.[1]  But after the initial fun wears off, they get kind of tedious.[2]  When I realized how much time I was spending playing these things I quit and suddenly had time to waste starting a blog.[3]

Fast forward to a few months ago.  I'm sitting around bored with a few minutes on my hands and none of my Words With Friends games need me to continue dominating my opponents.  So, I decided to see what new nonsense FB had to offer.

Enter Bubble Witch Saga.

Ostensibly you are trying to help these witches get rid of the baddies, but it's really just a bubble shooting game.  You shoot up the screen trying to match colors to pop bubbles and get the board cleared.  There's nothing new about the concept[4] but BWS has added a few things.

The benign things are that they've added trickier bubbles in later boards.  Like bombs that explode if you don't get them off of the board fast enough or skull bubbles that cause you to lose a life if you shoot them at all. And these virus bubbles that infect everything and make you crazy.

The completely evil things they've added are that they've made it into a money generating monster.  You can buy potions that help you a minor amount with in-game coins, but they also have bunches of stuff that you can buy with real cash.[5]

If you run out of bubbles on a level you can buy ten more for 30 cents.  And that's part of the genius of their evil scheme.  Thirty cents is nothing!  I can just picture some sucker making that purchase over and over because it is such a small amount.  Of course at the end of the month you get your credit card bill and see that you've somehow blown $330 on imaginary bubbles.

Of course if you've got a sizable amount of money that you feel like blowing you can buy one of the charms.  There are at least 14 of these things.  I'm on level 85 and I've opened up that many and I'm sure there's more out there to be revealed.  There's one that adds three to the max number of lives you have and it costs a mere $9.90.  Another let's you see the next three balls that are coming into play instead of only seeing the next two.  That one will run you $12.90.

Are you kidding me?  If anyone reading this blog has actually been stupid enough to buy any of them, please call me immediately.  I have a bridge and a swamp to sell you.

But the award winner is the Charm of Immortality.  This will give you unlimited lives for a mere $79.90.


Please, please, please, please tell me that nobody has actually bought that.  They have to be kidding right?

If there is anyone out there that's bought it, please send me your address I need to come and slap you.[6]

Anyway, if you haven't guessed I'm addicted to playing the game.  Fortunately you run out of lives fairly quickly so it doesn't really take up much of my time.  Despite my lack of cash funded bonuses I've managed to get pretty far with just the free stuff.  Now if I can just come up with a game to milk suckers out of their money.  Maybe something about clicking a cow.

Bubble Witch Saga [The Game]: B
Bubble Witch Saga [The Scheme to Soak the Feebleminded of their Cash]: A+ [7]

[1] - Yes, it was me spamming you asking for some bricks to finish my hen house.
[2] - Sure, this time I'm collecting Terra Cotta Bricks and not just normal bricks, but in the end it's all just a bunch of clicking.
[3] - jk, I stopped playing FB games long before I started wasting time on a blog.
[4] - Snood players you can gloat about being there first if you'd like.
[5] - Let me be up front and say that I have not nor will I ever actually be dumb enough to spend money on something as stupid as this, but I can certainly image people who are.
[6] - You can press charges if you want, but when the judge finds out they'll just dismiss the charges and slap you themself.
[7] - An evil, evil, evil A+, but an A+ nonetheless.

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