Thursday, October 23, 2014

Temporary Insanity

Temporary Insanity:

You hear about people pleading temporary insanity from time to time.  News reports of the events surrounding such crimes often start something like this:

"Earlier this month a local woman [1] shot and killed five people while . . ."

Of course, while you don't actually hear about the plead of temporary insanity until months and months later, you start to hear speculation about it long before.

Bob: Hey, did you hear about that woman who killed all those people at Wal-Mart [2] last week?
Charles: Yeah, I bet she pleads temporary insanity and gets away with it too.

I suspect that that idea crosses the mind of most people when they hear about someone taking such a plea.  Surely temporary insanity is just their way of trying to "get away" with something. Right? Because honestly, temporary insanity?  You really want us to believe that you aren't normally crazy.  It was just this one time?

Officer Carl: You're under arrest for the murder of five people.
Suspect: No no officer.  You don't need to arrest me.
Officer Carl: But you're crazy.  You killed people.  You're dangerous!
Suspect: No, I'm over it now.  See it was just "temporary" insanity.
Officer Carl: Oh, well no problem then.  Have a nice day!

Well, what if I told you there was an experience that would let you see how temporary insanity is possible.  It won't necessarily drive you actually crazy [3] but it will bring into stark contrast how even the most "sane" of us could lose it, if only for a short time.

And what is that experience you might ask?  Well, I'll tell you.  Here it is:


That's right parenting.

Don't get me wrong.  Being a parent [4] is wonderful.  It's more awesome in more ways than you can fathom.  However, there are days when your kids will just drive you insane.  When the older child is crying with runners of snot coming down his face because he doesn't like the food that he ate just fine the night before.  And then the younger one comes walking into the room carrying the next item in a procession of dangerous items that he seems to be able to summon out of thin air. [5]  Of course, taking this item from him will cause him to break down into tears worse than his brother.  Speaking of brother, the older one has decided to eat his food after all, but has someone managed to get it all over his face and stomach, as well as the majority of his side of the table. [6] Which in turn somehow causes the younger one to suddenly want the rest of his food, which he will now reach up onto the table for and spill everywhere on the floor.  Which causes the older one to start crying again because this spill got a solitary drop of pears on his shoe. [7] And while you go to get a rag, the younger one sees the Halloween candy bag and begins saying "I want a lollipop" over and over and over and over and over. [8]  Which causes the older one to declare that he's having candy for a snack.  And when you inform him that that won't be true unless he finishes his food, starts the crying [9] going again. Meanwhile the younger one has suddenly discovered that the trash can is once a again a source of wonderful treasures and suddenly you realize . . .

Temporary insanity.  Yeah, I can see that.

Temporary insanity: D-

[1] - I'm not being sexist here, it could just as easily be a man.
[2] - I've no specific reason to pick Wal-Mart, but honestly if you need a store to have someone suddenly kill a bunch of their fellow customers, I suspect many Wal-Mart shoppers could step up and do you proud.
[3] - But it might.
[4] - A father in my case, but having talked to the Pook, I can attest that it works the same for the mothers as well.
[5] - Alternately it could be the next in a succession of extremely fragile and expensive things that he like wise seems to be able to summon out of thin air.
[6] - Which you might expect from the two-year-old, but the big one is five now.
[7] - Which evidently is sacred and must remain clean, unlike the front of his shirt.
[8] - and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
[9] - And the snot

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